Monday, 5 October 2015

In which I have been through HUGE STUFF


In the last eighteen months my life has changed dramatically.  I am now gainfully employed in a job I love.  It is incredibly pressured in some ways, intensely rewarding, and I put in a lot of hours (way more than I’m paid for!) which has, in turn, had a knock on effect on the day-to-day running of this mad household and the night-to-night witch-duties.

In the past year I have also achieved Cronehood.  Well, not so much achieved, rather I’ve had it thrust upon me.  I knew it was coming.  I thought I would struggle with the emotional aspects, and I was completely certain that the physical symptoms would be horrendous (both my mother and grandmother had suffered terribly – my Mum was on HRT for years) and I was dreading it.

I started having hot flushes early on this year, and they woke me at night.  I would wake up, not knowing why, and within a minute the heat would spread outwards from my chest across the rest of my body and I’d leap out of bed, panting, desperate to cool off.  Not the best recipe for a good night’s sleep.  Exhaustion was my constant companion.  Dear friends suggested Lady’s Mantle and Purple Sage Tea.  I started drinking a mugful morning and evening, and within a week the symptoms eased almost completely.  I’m now down to a mugful every other evening, and I’ve been symptom free for a couple of months (YAY!) I'm hoping that the worst is over, and that my transition to being the REALLY-OLD Kitchen Witch is pretty much over.

On the emotional front, I think the lack of monthly hormonal upheaval has eased any depressive symptoms.  I get anxious, but not in that I’m-frozen-in-time-can’t-move-can’t-breathe-can’t-live kind of anxious, and days where I wish I didn’t exist haven’t happened in a very long time.  This is a GOOD THING.

Witch-stuff has taken a back seat.  Devotions have been sporadic.  Getting out in The Old Man’s Woods has happened, but nowhere near as much as I’d like.  Foraging has gone ok; one of the joys of the Witchlets being older is that they join in and can walk much further.  (It all starts with lots of whining that they don’t want to go, and ends with whining that they don’t want to go home because they’ve had fun.)  Serious workings have been almost non-existent.  Much as I have noted the change in seasons, I haven’t observed them, nor celebrated them with feasting and merriment.

The Hubster is also happily ensconced in a new job.  He is now nocturnal, which is superb for family arrangements such as getting the Witchlets to and from school (he drops them off, I pick them up, thus saving a not-insignificant amount of money spent on child-minders). It is not, however, conducive to us spending much time together.  But we make the most of the time we do get.

I did think that I’d get lots more done, witchcraft wise, than I do.  But by the time 10 pm rolls around, I am battling exhaustion and the energy for workings elude me.  Hell, the energy for housework generally eludes me.

The good news is that we are no longer living hand to mouth.  The last week of the month is not referred to as ‘porridge and soup week’ – we get to go shopping every weekend, and having to buy all new uniform for both of my growing Witchlets this August didn’t have us terrified we wouldn’t have enough money for the monthly bills.  Money may not buy happiness, but not lying awake at night having financial panic attacks makes me much less unhappy, thank you very much.

But I’m hoping that I can squeeze in some more esoterically inclined activities in the coming months.  I am being pointed in that direction, for certain, and one thing I learnt a long time ago is that when the Divine pokes you with unmistakable requests, you comply, or face the consequences.  Negotiation is currently in progress (while PL seems to understand completely that we mere humans need sleep, Hekate is seemingly unimpressed by the fact) and hopefully we’ll come up with an acceptable timetable… I hope!

Well, that’s my current situation in a nutshell.  I’m probably wittering to just myself here, as it’s been so damn long since I’ve written, but you never know.  So I’m wishing anyone out there a pretty awesome October. 

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