I spent last night pacing up and down the Kitchen in a state of rage. I was so deep in rage I blew three of the four halogen spotlights above me. To preserve what little light was left, Husband send me upstairs to have a bath, whereupon I blew the bathroom light. That took some doing, because it is - was - an energy saving one. (We have saved lots of money replacing all the tungsten bulbs we could with energy saving bulbs; they seem to be more resistant to the energy fluctuations I tend to give out when happy/vengeful/orgasmic/hormonal - delete as applicable.)
I suppose I should explain. I have spent over twenty years as a solitary witch. The last eight years I have been living with, and subsequently married to, a wonderful man who is very pagan-friendly (although I filled in the census form and he is now - on paper at least - pagan) and we've managed to produce two pagan babies.
Last year, for the first time ever, I dipped a very hesitant toe into the muddy waters of the local Pagan Community. I attended a few moots, a couple of open rituals, the North East Pagan Federation Conference, and was all prepared to commit a lot of time and effort into GETTING INVOLVED. I met some lovely people, we got along, and a few I now consider GOOD FRIENDS. Don't have many of those, so a few extra - and pagan to boot - is very welcome.
Now, however, I am emphatically removing said toe from the Pagan Pond. I'm outta there, dried off, socks and shoes back on and returning to the path of solitary bliss. All of a sudden, this local community seems to have been swamped by liars, egomaniacs, self-righteous pompous idiots and control-freaks. There has been abuse by e-mail, bitching in facebook groups, even accusations of improper sexual conduct. (I'd do a list, but I'm not sure on libel laws!)
I respect everyone's right to follow different paths, to have different opinions, to make those opinions known. But there are ways and means of doing so, folks, and mouthing off behind the safety of your computer screen instead of directly to the person concerned is pure cowardice. I've tried to explain this, I've jumped in and suggested that people take up any issues they have in private, but apparently that's not an option. I give up, I'd had enough of the shit. This is not what I wanted out of the Pagan Community. So I've cut contact with those I don't want to have anything to do with (oh, the satisfaction of a Facebook cull), opted out of the groups that have been used as a platform for this shit, and vented my rage.
Supposedly these people follow the rede, or rules of karma, or something. Personally I prefer to think that shit is shaped like a boomerang - you throw it, it'll come back and splat in your face, which is the same thing but less pretentious. Anyway, if they are these spiritual seekers they claim - why do it?
Because they can. Because they can't stand to be wrong. Or told they are wrong. And because many odd little ol' witches and pagans like me will not ride in and fight to oust (or at least muzzle) the crap-meisters that behave so badly, they take over the groups and eventually drain them dry. Now I'm not afraid of wading in and confronting them - but I have neither the time nor inclination. Frankly, I can't be arsed. And I can't afford to keep replacing the bulbs.