Friday, 4 November 2011

In which I go brewing herbal things... the sweet little uneducated fluffy Kitchen Witch that I am.  (I'm really going to have to do something about this unremitting grudge against Mr Nash, aren't I?)

If there’s one thing I am obsessed with doing it’s protecting hearth, home and family. I’m the typical lioness mother - touch my family and I eat you alive. Slowly. Now I’m also claustrophobic and don’t fancy getting locked up, so I do tend to spend a lot of my witchy time throwing protection magic around the place. Boundaries, doorways, windows, letterboxes, keyholes, thresholds - all of them get some sort of treatment on a semi-regular basis and when I feel the need. And all sorts of magic goes on.

I (ahem, apologies to those faint of heart) piss on the boundary between the pavement and our driveway. I do tend to do that at about 3am, though, the neighbours might just tolerate me dancing in the rain/moonlight or doing yoga in the garden, or having strange things chalked on the patio, or even midnight sex to encourage the veg/herb garden to be fruitful, but I think I’d send them over the edge if they saw me squatting, chanting and pissing. Cue flashing blue lights.

I make my own sage smudge sticks, generally with a mixture of sage, juniper and rosemary, and I’ll smudge the place (only possible when the kids are absent; any smoke/incense has particles that will get into your lungs, and I’ll do that to my own but I won’t inflict it on little Witchlet lungs), or burn specific incense - I do love Mrs Oddly’s Dove and Serpent incense.

Salt is often used inside, as is a mixture of salt, baking soda and powdered eggshells (hey, use the opportunity to get rid of smells from the carpet AS WELL!!), but for doorways, laminate and linoleum floors, window ledges, etc et cetera…. Can’t beat a bit of Four Thieves’ vinegar. A glug in the floor wash is good too.

It’s a bit of a special one today, four witches have provided ingredients, all grown in their gardens. One gave me sage, one gave me garlic, one gave me wormwood. I provided the rest. (Maybe I should rename it Four Witch Vinegar?) The way I make it is to take good quality apple cider vinegar, boil cloves of garlic in it, cool, and then put into jars and add four fresh herbs - in this case wormwood, sage, chilli peppers and rosemary. I give it shake, charge it with protection energies, and then give it to one of my deities/spirits to keep a close eye on it and lend their help in brewing it. The Old Man volunteered today; I think offering him spiced rum and the last of the trick or treat sweets was too much temptation for him. I didn’t like to tell him that it wasn’t very dignified jumping up and down going “ME! ME!! Pick MEEEE!!” - you can if you want, and it’s been nice knowing you.

When it’s ready (I’d love to tell you how long it takes, but it all depends - I end up just KNOWING when it’s done), I’ll decant it into bottles, add slivers of the garlic, and a small sprig of the fresh herbs (new bits, only the garlic stays the whole way through) and label. Always label; learnt that lesson early on - in a few weeks you might just forget what the FUCK is in all those bottles you have in the cupboard.


  1. As an Earthly and Fiery (yes, it does exist, I promise) Witch, I am allllll about the protection. I too am a Lioness mother. I know how to fuck a bitch up if someone messes with my family.

    I have all kinds of protection magic around my home. I have even called upon Astral Animals to protect us.

    Enjoy your wonderful goodies and enjoy your magical interludes.

  2. Lol! Never mess with a witch-mother! I have a Dragon here that protects us too; as far as I can see you can never have too much protection from the nasties around hearth and home.